P N C O

Mostly photography, with the occasional philosophical contemplation

20: Autumn Dream

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Autumn Dream

Leaves on the ground   hardly any sound
The wind is soft and sway
What is still here will soon fade away
The mystical atmosphere of the forest
Trigger dreamlike images    fantasy of the mind
The magic lake mirror merges the sky and earth

As i drift away swimming in a sea of thoughts
The depth of being    unfathomable
Traveling between waking and sleeping
Life unfolds itself like an infinite dream
Where beings of the old play ancient games
Their dance of illusion distorts reality

Slowly awakening from the catnap
I realize i dozed away again
I can’t help but wonder how i didn’t see
That the whole time sleeping
The world was upside down

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17: Looking 4 You

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Looking 4 you

As the world turned upside down
I realized i was more lost than found
Wondering what caused all this pain
I learned the skills how to restrain
No longer wanting to be different

The endless craving  felt insignificant
As the insight dawns upon me
I no longer juggle with struggle
From what i can now see
Only the inside sets me free
All the while i was looking for you
And i wonder..
Do you look in the mirror too?

 

Self-Improvement

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Self Improvement

Like so many of us, at one time I became somewhat obsessed with the idea that I could improve myself all the way up to enlightenment. I was convinced that I was here to make that realization and the best way to do it seemed to be improving myself on all levels. So I started reading a lot of philosophical and spiritual books. Also I started having some mysterious and unexplainable experiences which seemed to come from a different world. I was intrigued by my own success and it never came up to me that these things could just happen by themselves.

Alan Watts explained my situation to me in a video on self improvement. As a start, he pointed out that our whole educational system – and after that the business world – is only occupied with the idea of improving and growing. In school we get grades and degrees to show that we have learned something. But instead of seeing the learning as the real goal, the degree has become the goal in our society. So the curiosity of a child who just wants to learn about the world is seen as bad and is replaced by the insatiable mantra “improve yourself and you’ll become the best”.

The same goes for work. When we work because we like what we do, we tend not to focus on the money we earn with it. The money is not a goal in itself, but is a necessary good since you need money to survive and eat in this world. So far there is no problem with money. The problem arises when the money becomes the goal. The reason why you started working in the first place (e.g. because you like making good clothes) is pushed to the background and is replaced by the need to earn as much money as you can. Success is no longer measured by your ability to do what you really like doing, but instead is measured by the amount of money you can accumulate. More money means more improvement.

But it’s just an idea in our head. What if there is nothing to improve?  What if the world happens to be just as it is right here, right now? We’re in constant conflict with this idea. Because we feel the need to improve ourselves, we’re unconsciously telling ourselves that we’re not good enough. We think we need to overcome all our flaws in order to be a good person. But what if it is actually perfectly fine to have flaws? I’m not saying we should stick with old and toxic behavior; we should try to let go of the idea of improving ourselves.

Just look at growing up as a child. As a child, you’re not busy improving yourself and yet you grow. It’s a basic characteristic of human existence: you are born as a child and inevitably you will start to grow and learn. It’s part of being human. And it explains why we are so curious by our nature. If we can see that there is nothing to be improved, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with us at this moment, we can start to relax and breathe. We can start to observe the world in a new way. There is no need to look for something to be improved. Why make the world a better place, if it is ok right now?

To me this is a powerful mirror. If I look at my own situation; I think I want to help other people. What does this actually mean in the light of self improvement? It still reflects that I want to improve myself, helping other people being the disguise.  So I still believe at some level I need to improve myself in order to be whole. But where is me? If I look I can’t find it anywhere. The world seems to be rolling by itself just fine!

*The quote used in the image comes from the website https://www.tinybuddha.com

7: Vulnerable

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With eyes wide open looking into the world
I can feel depths i have never felt before
Emotional states of being come and go
The variety of feelings seems never ending

Pain, joy, sadness and laughter
All blended together in the stomach
The head is full of profound thoughts
While it tries to think no thoughts at all

How can i bare all of life’s bombarding
The senses in continuous overdrive
To keep up with this exhausting rhythm
Though i never felt his much aliveness

As the cocoon slowly breaks and opens up
Life touches and tickles in many ways
This new found sensitivity is very special
It just requires time to learn how to play

4: Vulnerable

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Vulnerable

To allow myself to open up
To finally show what is hidden
To express what really moves me
How come it is so scary?

Yet the prospect of having to live
With all the pain locked inside
Emotional blockades ruining me
Can only lead to depression

So the urgency is very clear
I have to allow myself to open up
Fear of rejection and failure
Will surely be my guide for some time

Yet many have walked this path before
Teaching that in being vulnerable
Seeing the others are no other than we
We can share our most precious gifts

From this moment onwards
I let the free heart speak
With its shaky unstable voice
Stepping into an unknown world

Cause the world needs me to be
Vulnerable opening all senses
To the suffering and pain
Of the world in which we live

Instead of looking away again
I feel that this time i can stay
Let life run through my veins
As the heart cries out its song of hurt

The Traveler

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The Traveler

Never worries about the time
Unaware of the path traveled
Just continuing onward
The journey happens as you slide
Each moment uniquely yours
Ready to be shared with the world
When you get back home safe

So why not bring your house with you?

Alienation

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Clouds_edit_klein
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Sometimes the world seems upside down, if you live with your head in the clouds.. And sometimes you want to create something special out of the ordinairy.. this is a picture i took at Kings Canyon in Australia, with clouds reflected in a little pool of water after the rain. Yesterday i played a bit with it, this is the result