We met in the dark
Your eyes shone as you approached
Keeping the distance you made your moves
Weeks had passed since I last saw you
I had to let you go
You didn’t want to be with me
The choice you made was hard to swallow
I fought it off initially
Seeing it as a phase which would pass
But you were determined
The nights without you continued
When I brought you back in
Within minutes you vanished again
Back to the open door
WIth the food waiting for you
You no longer wanted to be with me
As painful as any loss can be
So to my surprise this night
The pain had subsided
Making room for somehing bigger
A feeling of love and compassion
As you carefully approached me
Never close enough to touch
But my heart was moved deeply
You were at home now
And yet you didn’t forget about me
As you turned around
And walked back to the door
Your meow resounded in my heart
I may have lost you to the neighbour
For the first I know
I truely found you
Thank you White Spot
When I first met you I was still young.
You played along with my childhood games as we both shared the fun.
Unaware of the challenges of life I gave in to you without a doubt.
The fullness of life was so overwhelming I did not have to choose.
Later when doubt had entered the arena, you slowly disappeared to the background
Life became complicated with rules, relationships, expectations, punishment and reward.
The simpleness was replaced by intricate thought mechanisms which locked me into place.
Each day my life became more and more an experience of dull and boring rationality.
Playfulness was thrown out of the window in order to make sure I would fit in with everybody else.
But the more I fit in, the less free I felt.
Trapped by tempting promises and nightmares of hope and fear, the web of illusion closed in on me.
The one thing I had lost I had no idea I was missing.
Only when I found you back I knew I had been wandering in a cold and barren desert forever trying to clench my thirst.
The walls build around the inner temple squeezed the life out of me.
I tried to forget, suppressing everything I did not want to hear – I did not want to know.
Cause forgetfulness was better than to be reminded of not having you near.
Oh trust, life saviour, love giver.
On your shoulders I long to build my life.
Better than the sweetest dream, you wake me to a reality which is profound in its evidentness.
You are the atoms which hold the universe together.
Universaly revered because you are so humble.
I can now see myself again when I trust.
Naked with arms wide open, laying myself to rest in the heart of the world.
To trust is to know.
The wise among us know how to trust.
Trust. Let go. Fly.
My dear friend Pooh has left the earthly plane today. He had become very skinny and almost didn’t eat and drink any longer. 2 years ago we were in a similar situation, but back then i had the feeling that his life was not over yet. This time it felt different. It felt that he was ready to leave. So when i came home from the vet yesterday, i thought about what he said. He told me it was better for him to go to sleep. I could not decide immediately but after a few hours i realized that he was right and that i was ok with Pooh having to go.
So this afternoon the vet came and gave Pooh the injections which caused his death. Pooh was calm and died within no time. I’ve been doing a lot of Buddhist practice the last few days and playing a lot of Vajrasattva mantras for him. Pooh was to me a true Bodhisattva, a big hearted lovely creature who taught me patience, being calm and how to rest when turmoil is trying to take over the mind. I am thankful of the many years we have shared together and i wish him a safe journey to the other side.
OM MANI PADME HUNG
Once you start to notice, it’s intriguing to see everything which goes on inside our body and mind system. Various parts call out for our attention, while other parts try to take the house down and yet other parts try to be the ruler of the inner universe.
Yet all of this happens within one system. Parts may not like the feelings which accompany other parts, or choose to ignore, but there’s always an overview available. The sum is greater than all of its parts. This field of awareness is the ground for all of the parts to play their games.
If one can learn to stay in contact with the field of awareness, integration becomes a possibility. Mindfulness, simply being with all the various parts, not being overwhelmed by the accompanying and often conflicting emotions. This helps to create a compassionate attitude to whatever arises from within.
All the inner riches await us. They may be covered in dark layers of soil, but they’re there. As so often in life, to reach these places within requires hard work, effort and resilience. One needs to learn to deal with conflicting emotions instead of fighting them. Being with emotions, allowing them to show what they’re hiding from us, is a process which can be aided by it curiosity. Curiosity is the key to unlock the treasures within.
If one can befriend one’s inner demons, the inner riches can be uncovered. All the beautiful traits of our childhood can be integrated. Not in one attempt, but as one progresses, each time it becomes increasingly easy to deal with everything which arises within.
All the inner riches are waiting to be explored!
Flower of Compassion
Oh flower of the heart
Shine your light over us
Open up and show your beauty
The guiding force
You know what it is like
To be vulnerable
Naked and alone
You know there is no need
To be afraid of our tears
You grow so easily
As you are inherent within us
On the good soil of pure intent
Our wish for all to be happy
Stems from your seeds
Oh flower of compassion
Love is your guiding light
Teach us to be human
Help us to accept
The basic uncertainty of life
This poem was inspired by the documentary Crazy Wisdom (2011) about the late Tibetan Buddhist Master Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Rinpoche taught people how to become warriors of Shambhala, how to become genuine human beings. A beautiful and encouraging message worth contemplating.
They once called me the king of the world
The whole animal kingdom was mine to rule
I was respected and all who were wise feared me
Once I was a king living the wild life
Now all that remains are distant memories
The waters of my dreams all but dried up
Today I’m still a king
But what respect does a king get
If he’s locked behind bars?
The nature of mind
Empty full of compassion
Touching moving gently
Subtly carrying the winds
Death like life like dream
Wake up the heart
Invitation to see
Light Aware Mindful Presence
As we walk through our existence
Life changes come and go
Sometimes we struggle
Sometimes we fight
As the pain from deep inside haunts us
As with all things impermanent
Life too can change for the good
Pain can turn into pleasure
Sharing friendship and laughter
As the love from deep within shines on
As we try to express the inexpressible
Words fail us whenever we might try
To speak out what matters most to us
Leaving us speechless with too much to say
As the moment of insight glides from our reach
And yet it is our power to be
Expressing our human nature
Vulnerable and whole
Leave out all distinctions
And express who you want to be
I was lucky yesterday with the sunset. While i was waiting for the sun to slowly set behind the horizon, a couple of Great Crested Grebes came swimming pretty close and right into the sunlight. And shortly after i took these pictures my battery was dead. And now i know that these Grebes live there, i’ll go back soon. Nice way to test my telelens skills again 🙂