P N C O

Mostly photography, with the occasional philosophical contemplation

So Easy

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Once you have that first realization, the rest is fairly simple. But I’ve noticed for some time now that it’s actually very hard to have that realization in the first place. The truth is plain and simple, the way to it however can be long, winding and physically and mentally demanding.

And yet I see myself hiding away from the truth in front of me and clinging onto something of which I know does not suit my best interests. That strange behavior I as a human show most of the time, is somewhat comparable to an addiction. With an addiction comes the false feeling of self-control. And I know every addict knows this. Then the question remains: why so many people suffer on a daily basis from their addictions?

It’s in the letting go. So easy to do, so easy not to do. We all have the power to decide for ourselves if we want to be in control or let something outside of us seize that control. Never has my lack of control really make me feel happy, yet in a twisting of the mind I always found myself convinced I was. Ain’t this story tragic and beautiful? Clinging on to the false hopes, dreams and illusions picked up in previous life stages, too stubborn to admit you lack every bit of control in your life.

I have had an intense feeling telling me where I’m standing at this point. It explained to me nothing is wasted, either in the present or in the past. Yes, I’ve done stupid things, even terrible things. But I try to learn something from them and whenever possible reverse the harm I’ve caused or am causing. So I can now finally stop the blaming game and look to myself in the mirror and say ‘I’m really actually trying to be a good person’. From that sense confidence can be developed.

It’s that one simple notion, that thought in the back of my mind, which brought me to the simple and for me stunning realization: I don’t need it. I’ve already got everything I need, so why would I go and search for pleasure and pain in all kinds of extremities?

I’m here and I’m living my life. What more could I want?

(repost from 2013)

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Addiction

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Oh my.. is there an addiction around me? Why have we become so dependent?

 

As i travel many miles every week by train, i see many people there. Young and old.
And i see them use their phones. A lot. We’ve become so dependent. Even myself.
Even if i want to quit using a smart phone, what will i do if all my friends use Whatsapp for communication?

To me it’s interesting that the social aspect (or perhaps pressure) is keeping people on board.
As for myself, i’m reconsidering getting an old Nokia 3310..


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Fearing Love

Fearing Love

Once upon a time there was a prince who was destined to marry a beautiful princess. But the prince had never seen his princess. And he only heard of stories. And those stories were telling him that she was oh so beautiful. So pretty, so nice, so kind. And yet this girl has always felt alone.

So when the prince first saw his princess, he was so afraid. He was afraid to make a wrong move. To to say something wrong. Or to ruin the moment. Because the moment he saw her, he knew she was his princess. And so the prince started to fear his love of the princess. And the princess felt this. She looked him straight into the eyes as if she wanted to tell him “don’t be afraid. It’s okay. I know the feeling too. I’ve been there all my life. But I was always waiting for you”.

And so the prince now confused inside his mind, realized he had to find a way out of this. And so he approached the noble wisdom keeper of the court. He was the adviser of his father. He was a wise and old man, skilled in the teachings of life. Also in death, but that’s another story. So he approached the wisdom keeper and he asked “oh wisdom keeper. I’m so afraid to love. What should I do? This princess is so beautiful. And she told me she waited all her life for me and now I’m afraid. I’m afraid to lose her. To do anything wrong.”

And the wisdom keeper looked straight into the prince’s eyes and said “Prince… you’ve been training all your life for this one moment. You’ve been training to fear this moment. Cause you knew from the start this moment would come. And that’s exactly what fear is. Fear is having expectations and knowing these expectations can never be met. So when the princess looked you into the eyes, she had no fear because she never expected anything from you. She only expected you to love her. But because you didn’t see that, you only saw the fear in your own heart. The fear to just let go and to be.

But once you realize that the love inside is what lies underneath your fear, you will see that there is indeed nothing to fear but fear itself. Because love is something which doesn’t belong to you or the princess or to me or to anybody. It’s the essence of life itself. We call it love, but it has many names. It has many qualities. It is our natural state. But if you try to describe for yourself, or to think ahead of yourself, you will start fearing. Cause fear is all about expectations, about the present, the past and the future. Expecting the present to be different. Expecting the future to be either better than the present or worse than the present.

And the past, oh we fear the past. Cause the past is our storehouse of mistakes. But don’t you think that love cannot make mistakes? Isn’t that a hard thing to say to the essence of life? To say that life cannot make mistakes? And yet, in my heart I know that life does not make mistakes. Just because of the fact that life does make mistakes. But that, my little prince, is for some time later. Now for you it is important to realize that you can let go of yourself. That you can let go of your fear of love. Cause your fear of love is the last thing which keeps you from loving. Cause it will show you that the love for the princess is no other than the love for you, for yourself.”

So the prince thanked the wisdom keeper and pondered about it. He was sitting next to the big lake with the beautiful lotus flowers. And he was wondering. “What did the wisdom keeper mean? Why was he saying that fear is nothing but fear and that love lies below?” And then he saw a fish swimming in the lake. The fish was unaware of the eagle flying. The fish was swimming and grasps for a breath, came to the surface and at that same moment the eagle already diving, put out his claws and caught the fish. The prince saw it. And he saw the fish never feared for one moment, because the fish was unaware of what was going on. “The same thing applies to myself”, the prince thought. “I fear because I don’t know what claws will catch me. But it’s strange. Cause why am I comparing myself to a fish”, he thought. Then he reminded himself that he was not only the fish, but also the eagle and the lake and the prince watching. He realized that love is bigger than just him, or the princess and him. He realized that love is life itself. And how can life fear what it’s doing? Cause life cannot hurt itself. And the prince realized that what he had done this day, was perfect. He knew that he did the right thing. Because he knew that he had to learn the lesson before he could truly love his destined princess.

The next day the prince asked his father if he could meet the princess in private. And the father agreed. So when the prince came in, the princess was waiting. The prince brought in a beautiful bouquet of flowers and the princess started laughing. “I see you’ve learned the lesson of love, my dear prince. Yesterday when I looked you into the eyes, I saw fear. You were afraid.  Of me. Of our future together. But most of all, afraid of yourself. But now I see you’ve recognized yourself. Now I will marry you”.