When I first met you I was still young.

You played along with my childhood games as we both shared the fun.

Unaware of the challenges of life I gave in to you without a doubt.

The fullness of life was so overwhelming I did not have to choose.

Later when doubt had entered the arena, you slowly disappeared to the background

Life became complicated with rules, relationships, expectations, punishment and reward.

The simpleness was replaced by intricate thought mechanisms which locked me into place.

Each day my life became more and more an experience of dull and boring rationality.

Playfulness was thrown out of the window in order to make sure I would fit in with everybody else.

But the more I fit in, the less free I felt.

Trapped by tempting promises and nightmares of hope and fear, the web of illusion closed in on me.

The one thing I had lost I had no idea I was missing.

Only when I found you back I knew I had been wandering in a cold and barren desert forever trying to clench my thirst.

The walls build around the inner temple squeezed the life out of me.

I tried to forget, suppressing everything I did not want to hear – I did not want to know.

Cause forgetfulness was better than to be reminded of not having you near.

Oh trust, life saviour, love giver.

On your shoulders I long to build my life.

Better than the sweetest dream, you wake me to a reality which is profound in its evidentness.

You are the atoms which hold the universe together.

Universaly revered because you are so humble.

I can now see myself again when I trust.

Naked with arms wide open, laying myself to rest in the heart of the world.

To trust is to know.

The wise among us know how to trust.

Trust. Let go. Fly.

4 responses to “Trust

  1. very moving and true words, dear Pieter. Life has a lot of sad experiences for us. We can only hope to learn from them and to get stronger by them. I’m thinking of an old love a lot, too. What would have happened if I would have said yes to him? I’m still in love and miss him so much. Love hurts.
    Warm regards Mitza

    • Thank you for your beautiful comment Mitza. Very touching. And reminded me of an old love too. I never made my move, so who knows what could’ve happened? On the one hand it may be a loss as you write. On the other hand, it might be very fortunate for reasons we can’t comprehend. Everything is interdependent, so i try not to think about the what-if’s but focus on what presents itself to me in the here and now. And i’m sure we learn from our experiences. Some take a long time to digest, while others are immediately apparent to us. And even if we don’t see our mistakes, life will gently or roughly guide us along the way.. save journey!

      warm regards, Pieter

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